the other night, i accompanied somebody to a high school dinner reunion thingy at some japanese restaurant in morato. like any common gathering of around fifteen people, we were given the longest rectangular table available. the wives wimmin were grouped together on one end, while the men on the other end of the table– which clearly tells me that i should join the ladies whether i like it or not. but don’t get me wrong, they’re really nice people. it was actually interesting to learn a thing or two about motherhood, but i just can’t stand the whole breast-sucking machine talk all night long. for some reason i kept on thinking about spotted white cows with huge pink udders. one of the ladies said this sucking machine is better than doing it directly, because in her case, the baby bit her nipple so hard it bled. it went on and on for the rest of the night until i was tempted to transfer over to the men’s side and start arm-wrestling.
anyway, i expressed my anxiety when we were on our way home and he said, “don’t you think you’re starting to feel left out because everyone’s getting married and having kids?” i never really thought of it that way, i said. i don’t have to do what everybody’s been doing just to fit in, but it sucks losing friends to new priorities and responsibilities you can’t relate to.
well at least i can pacify their babies by making them think i’m some puffy pooh bear. what a life.